I WILL NEVER FORGET the echo of my dad’s voice when asked if, after marrying someone younger while in his mid-40s, he’d be open to having more kids.
“[Fervently] no,” he growled. “I’m not going to my kid’s [gosh darned] high school graduation when I’m [fantastically] 70 years old.”
Well … something like that.
Of course, that was back in the ’90s, when 50 was still the new 50. People old enough to be grandparents weren’t having many children.
Which may not be the case much longer. More people are becoming parents later in life, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, which says more than two decades ago, the average age of a first-time mother was 24.9 years old.
In 2024, it was 27.5 years old. Which isn’t exactly teetering on getting senior discount territory.
But it’s trending older, and the older the parent when the child is born, keeping up with that child later in life may be on creaky knees.
Admittedly, part of that trend is due to teen birth rates dropping steadily since 1991, the CDC said. But, also, more women are prioritizing education and careers and choosing to have children later.
The CDC said the birth rate among women 40 to 44 rose 4% between 2021 and 2022. During the same period, the rate rose for women 45 or over by 12%.
Meet the grandkids before meeting your maker
Why is this a concern of people who want to lengthen their healthy lifespan? Another reason for people to live healthy lives and stay on planet Earth as long and as healthy as possible is to meet their grandchildren.
Which is one of the first things I thought of late last year when my cousin told me he and his wife were having a baby. He’s about to turn 50 in June.
“You better get to the gym,” I told him, because men are very sensitive and conscious of each other’s feelings. “You may die of old age before she can walk.”
Then I made sure to tell him I remember our grandfather when he was my cousin’s age, which was very subtle of me.
There are good arguments on either side of the “waiting to have children” debate, one on the con side being that children born to older parents get fewer years with Mom and Dad.
According to the Mayo Clinic, there are also more health concerns for older women and their babies, including greater risk of miscarriage and stillbirth, gestational diabetes, higher risk of certain chromosomal conditions, such as Down syndrome, higher risk of developing high blood pressure during pregnancy, and greater risk of premature birth and having a baby with a low birth weight, among others.
You also may be mistaken for a grandparent at Back to School Night.
The pro side? You’re wiser. You’re likely more financially secure. And having a little one around the house may leave you feeling refreshed, younger and wanting to optimize brain and body to stay around and watch that child grow up.
No foolin’, you’re a parent now
My cousin’s new baby was born April 1. She’s healthy and, like many women in our family, has a big voice. I have no doubt she is already inspiring her almost 50-year-old dad with a desire to stick around as long as possible.
Is there really a better reason?
My youngest daughter came into this world two months shy of my 41st birthday. It doesn’t seem like a dramatic age gap, partially because I’m active and partially because I’m terribly immature. It does seem a little weird I’m so much older than the other coaches of her softball team. One is a former MMA fighter, and the other is a very dedicated weightlifter. One day all the fellas started talking lifting and supplements and, when I tried to be one of the guys and listed some of mine, one guy said, “No, I’m a ways away from taking that. I’m not that old yet.”
Thanks.
But I do know that my daughter turns 17 in June, two months before I turn 58, which will make me only three years younger than my dad when he went to the great beyond. I saw how much he missed, including that granddaughter. I’m not going anywhere before she has gray hair and changes the world.
I promise to keep working at it.
What does a longer lifespan mean to you? Two talented columnists tag-team every Friday to tackle the challenges that inform your choices — whether you’re pushing 17 or 70. Recent Stanford Center on Longevity Visiting Scholar Susan Nash looks at life experiences through an acerbic personal lens, while longtime writer and health reporter Tony Hicks takes the macro view to examine how society will change as the aging population grows ever larger. Check in every Friday to expand your vision of living the long game and send us your feedback, column suggestions and ideas for future coverage to newsroom@baycitynews.com.
The post Hicks: Putting off parenthood — Choosing to have kids later in life encourages longevity appeared first on Local News Matters.